My Heart is broken

Today she was ok , she was telling me a story at a very low voice,  mom I can't hear you, I said, she pointed to the drapes , I said mom don't worry I'll open them when I leave, she looked away, If I could only read her mind, I need to know, what, what's going on, what should I complain about,  let me find out, I can't take this anymore, the hardest part is knowing how much you need this and still not being able to be ok with it, ok with leaving her, ok with not being there at all times, ok with not having her here accessible to help her when she needs the help. This rollercoaster is stressing me out, I can't fix this, my nose is bleeding, what is this, never happened to me, I thought I would be happy but at work the empathy is lacking , the mobbing keeps on rising, the mean girls are taking over, chopping heads and creating rules,  the dictatorship is leading the fool who signs blindflooded ,whom reads the bible from the screen and hires fans to bring her glory who is playing undercover while they empty her discover , and when both worlds come down on you, what can you do, take it one day at a time....