If you pay attention, you will understand my actions

In those silent moments when I think no one is watching me, I pray, I beg, I cry, this is too much for me to handle, when did life became so hard, I seek and find and bite my tongue and hide and secretly make plans to avoid those questions I don't want to reply, everything might seems alright,  but I die inside everytime is time to say goodbye I pray that God will give them grace to care for her with their heart, to put themselves in her path to give her a blanket if she is cold, to feed her more when she asks, everytime is always hard , I might smile but you know what, everytime I pray to God, that when we cannot see beyond that clock, everyone is doing a great job, if you pay attention you can see why, I hide and avoid certain paths to keep myself happy down this path.....