Showing posts from 2016

Window Shopping

There is a problem that we can't no longer ignore. There are a lot of us sisters waiting for marriage . Year after year time passing by , we are still waiting.
Poor Christian ladies waiting that Christian men who only turns when he sees a barbie doll wearing skimpy clothes. That Proverbs 31 he is not after he is after the flesh, playing video games singing praises at church you will think he might be learning something while having a women of God seating next to him frightens him so he rather go to the world and seek his new divorcee.
Because he rather get applauses from the world than to marry the women God put in his path, because long skirts are for the old than to marry a women of God. Because he might see her at church but the tight leggins from the girl at work means so much more, yeah the one who dosen't love the Lord who never dreams of getting pregnant because she dosen't want to gain weight to keep her body so society perfect to see who else she will steal to be …

It's all money!

They act like they like you to then demand money. No favor is ever done without an invoice. They want to bring peace but they demand money. They want to help you out but the charge you extra. Money,  Money,  Money help your neighbor and demand money. Act like a servant then demand money. Promise you everything then demand money. Help out the artists then demand money. Stop calling it a favor if you will then demand the money. Stop saying you want to help us because then you'll demand money,  please stop saying is not about the money when all you ask is for a payment.
Would you take the time if there was no payment? Would you ever invite if there was no payment? Would you contact me if you weren't  looking for a payment? Want to collaborate without a payment? How much does your friendship cost? If getting help from you requires a payment ,  I no longer interested in your help.


It's been 7 months since I saw your face till this day I wonder why we met, I wish I never had because now here is am trying to complete this story by myself while you are miles away not even thinking of the script, I wish I never stopped to introduced myself I wish I could take my time back,   because here I am with an unfinished story in my hands painting scenarios of what could  have been that never happened then so what was the point again I say did  I just wasted my time then... I wish I could go back and edit you our of my history So that I could go to sleep on time, to live the present and forget the past because if the past is your present then you are on replay mode and that is not a good cycle to live by. I wish I could not have come out to say hi to you,  cause look at me now,  imagining fake conversation that never happened with you were everything is chocolate and roses and the sun is out and the world applauds  and congratulates and I need to stop blaming myself for …

Time heals!!!

And there is Sun again  ,  shining bright again like nothing happened. Did you see what happened? Can you see my sorrow? Here  you come again on time again, the usual again and the views are fantastic again and is a brand new day and here I am drowning in my sorrow...
You came without an invitation , your light so strong it woke me from my sorrow and I am paralyzed in my bed with the desired to stay and get nostalgic again and the hours are passing and your light gets brighter so I'll  do my best to join you on this day, my new best friend you and me again and we take on living again and I am breathing again laughing at myself ,reminded by the rays, that life is a blessing , let's go serve!

In the end

When all is done.... when all your calendar dates are marked off,  what is left of you ,  are memories inside people's minds.  The Good or bad one they might share it once. The ones they want to forget fast , to move on with life,  as time is just flying by ,  nobody has time for that,  until a fresh air comes by,  and reminds them who you are,  they will search their mind a lot , for a glimpse of who you are. They will smile .. perphas, and have questions to ask,  that nobody can reply, since the days has gone by and your not available at that time,  then the engine search will resume and they will come across your words,  the ones you share with world where nobody knows your soul, how ironic this is,  they wanted to know about what I think,  yet their failed to do one simple thing, the most obvious one these days ,  to keep up with technology,  what a simple online search will reveal to them, the answer that the stranger got before them.

Hey Mom!

Hey Mom,  you know that guy,  the one you ask questions about your health.  He is more concerned about happy hour than you. He just learned how to drive and now he is prescribing medication for your life. He lives an empty life,  using Google to prescribe. Flirting with the front desk staff , getting paid just to act, like he really care about your life.

Just like previous years

Yes,  is about to happen again. The same fight again,  the same issues again. They both again forget is my birthday again. And they are consumed on their emotions and their lifetime issues and you see the devil managing them and you see the devil winning and they are blinded again,  and words were said, and tears have been shed and is my  birthday again and they could care less....


If I can't  breath but I have my freedom,  I can manage.
Hands tide up, fake smiles, Facebook scripts ,  if they only knew. Screaming from the inside,  I can't take this anymore, is all pretend,  trying to make it look good . The years go by ,  the same complains,  you want change but you don't  do nothing. Same fights year after year, I seen it all my life. I need to go,  let me go,  I need to find my own happiness,  let me go....
This is not normal,  is not good, is a prison,  a bondage from hell, I need deliverance,  I need to have my own space, to breath again,  to do my own thing,  to be me, to think,  to not get involved,  I have no business in your fights,  stop dragging me in it,  you two have problems, ancient problems and you both do nothing to resolve it.
And the years go by and the same story replays .
Same scripts same fight , older actors.
I am pressing on in prayer,  deliverance is coming soon. Let me just sit here and breath, do nothing , I am too old for …


When is your time to go they will show up,  the ones who never said Hello. The ones who never supported you,  the ones who stayed away. Those ones who never came your way. And now that your goodbye has caused so much distress,  they will show up to say, the things the never told you to your face,  the things you wished they had said then , but don't believe  them I say,  they are just looking for fame ,  using your death for fame , reading the script to look like a saint,  talking about you like you were best friends ,  even though there were many emails sent that never got a reply from them. They will dress up and play,  talk and act and make up fake stories about you , they will also say she was a good person ,  but you will never know why they stayed away.
They will start campaigns in your name, look and act like a saint,  trying to get applauses by men, using your death for their gain, giving interviews in your name, looking sad on TV for fame, because I know in the end, they …

Way back

Way back I was a big fan of #selenaquintanilla , back then I made a replica of the outfit she wore to her boutique opening #selenaetc today it is all memories good and bad because back then I saw how I was becoming more and more her follower and a follower of Christ. Today I have grown up enough to recognized that and move on,  so today I share this picture to share my #testimony  to help others. Don't let anyone or anything take the place of God in your life . One day I realized that if #selenaquintanilla had an opportunity to speak to her fans today she will probably say: turn to God. Because when someone dies wherever they end up Heaven or He'll they are either too busy in Heaven worshipping God or in he'll regretting not turning to God while there were on Earth.

It's on its way

Is  10pm on Wednesday March  23rd, 2016. I just took a picture of the sky and I have this feeling inside... will Jesus come  back tonight? To take me home tonight,  will I hear the trumpet tonight... it is a very different night,  I need to repent tonight,  I can't fall asleep with hidden sins inside,  cause I need to be right with God,  is a different night, something is coming....

Join me this Saturday!!!!

Yeap is true,  I get more support from the people who don't know,  the ones I just meet,  the ones who don't know me ,  so why is this?
I am tired of inviting, I am tired of emailing,  I can't  make you help me,  I guess I'll  wait for the perfect  stranger.
So you call yourself  a Christian  yet you will never wear my jewelry,  I guess you are one of those who choose just to keep it quiet,  even though  is a commandment ,  you just want to keep it quiet and you rather support a child  of the dark who is after the earthly  desires so you put aside your sister  who keeps on inviting because you are now too busy campaigning with the darkness, and ahead you keep on moving  donating money to the kingdom of darkness as our time keeps on flying when the  world will burn with fire and your friends are all in darkness but you keep your faith very quiet and you judge what I do and you can't  never make it the sale because you are playing with fire investing your money in t…

Please RSVP

Don't fall for it... Not every invitation is a true invite, A lot of it is just them being polite. The host is being the host and he cannot wait for you to go,  how did you get here he thought
,  I didn't wanted you to come , you took me so serious and that's why you showed up , but I was just you know,  I didn't  wanted to see you twice,  forgive me I am not being impolite , but your presence is not making me feel right, so please get it right this time... just ignore my invite....Please RSVP

Belongings in their lockers...

Oh brothers and sisters what did you guys did wrong? All you did was wake up and go to work. On the second day, you follow your routine well, you took the long elevator up, you left your belongings in the lockers and as the time clock kept on clicking away, you thought it was a normal day...
You my friends, that I never met,  my brothers and sisters with different last name , I saw your faces on top of the world reaching for clean air, I heard your voices on the phone hoping for hope... little did you know this day was going to turn out this way... you have no clue... you follow the routine well,  it was just another day... you left your belongings in the lockers...

Everyone wants you there

Everyone wants you to attend,  but they will never attend to you. Everyone wants you to come but none of them will come to you. Everyone  wants your presence but nobody wants to give that to you. In a relationship  is a give and take but it should always be  win  win... can someone ever get tired of giving , I think so, unless you goal is to be like Jesus so you just give and give 70x7 and then more.... everyone  wants you to attend, and support  them. How many will support  you!

The hypocrisy of someone who never looks at their mistakes

I was asked many times... what happened? Why am I getting the silent  treatment?  I didn't  know how to answer that.  I was infuriated.  How can anyone give the silent treatment  to their ederly  parent? I will see her every morning consumed with concerned.  Wondering why one of her own stopped  talking to her. You know the one who is so concerned  about her reputation  that she does a good job at hiding her secret self. They don't  know but God knows,  and God also see what I see,  what I've encountered every morning    a sad aging mother seating in the couch asking herself,  why?
The days went by and I worked overtime to sheer her up. But from time to time she will ask me... why is she not talking  to me. If you think  reading this is sad. Watching it live was  even worse. And what is worse that now after the conversations are back... there was never an apology..
We are supposed to forget.
Her friends will never know.
She does a good  job.
I need it to take a risk and w…